The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
At a doctor appointment:
“Step up on the scale”
Jokingly, “Do I have to?”
HOW HAVE I GONE THIS LONG WITHOUT KNOWING THIS WAS AN OPTION?!
You Might Also Like
#InternationalWomensDay is just a holiday hallmark made up to sell more women
When you have “very happily married” in your bio, we read that as “DM me about my other secret account ’cause my spouse watches this one.”
Boy, was I disappointed when I found out canoodling doesn’t involve actual noodles.
Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough…
But it’s even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip.
It’s not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER.
It’s the quality of followers.
My grandma talks a lot of shit for someone who still uses a flip phone.
I got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
That awkward when you read that wrong too.
And said ‘moment’ after awkward.
This is awkward.
I just found that there’s such a thing as a cheese shop and now I’m changing my vacation plans.
If you’ve already died hard, how can you die harder, with a vengeance, live free and die hard again and then find a good day to die hard?