Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects.
Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed.
[at ATM] Would I like to check my balance? Okay sure. *presses button* *robot leg shoots out and sweeps mine* ‘Your balance is: awful’
You Might Also Like
Not sure what a Shakira coochie board is but white people really like it
The grass looks greener on the other side because it’s fertilized with bullshit.
[hotel fire alarm]
M: *in pjs* How did people get dressed and outside so quickly?
H: It’s 10am, they were already dressed.
adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane
god: the sun shall fuel all life on earth
sun: sounds good
god: and the moon shall make tiny waves and werewolves
moon: hell yes
[steps on scale]
Me *shrugs*: New year, more me
[me as a poltergeist]
*putting an empty milk carton back in the fridge* ooooOooOooooo
Never threaten anyone. It spoils the surprise.