“Does anyone have anything else for the offering basket?”
? ????? ?? ????? ???? ?????
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Help is a magic word.
Say it to people & watch them disappearing from the horizon of your life.
If Billy Joel rewrote We Didn’t Start The Fire based on the past 2 weeks, it would be 45 minutes long.
Is there a way to fall gracefully? No.
But am I able to rise from this graceless decline and be the best possible version of myself? Also no.
God *twisting an owl*: I can’t get this damn jar open.
My husband pissed me off so I took photos of me using his tools improperly and sent them throughout the day while he was at work as payback
Advantage of seeing a goose: you just saw something interesting my friend.
Disadvantage: next goose experience less meaningful
Him: Lie back and open wide
Me: At least buy me dinner first
Him: *sigh* Please don’t tweet this
Me: *typing* Too late
ME: (meeting the devil) I love your eggs.
*gets toy out of packaging, earns engineering degree