Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

@TheCatWhisprer: [at home on video conference call]

Yeah boss I don't know why I keep dropping. Maybe my connection is bad.

*pauses Netflix on 2nd monitor*

[at home on video conference call] Yeah boss I don’t know why I keep dropping. Maybe my connection is bad. *pauses Netflix on 2nd monitor*
40 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@murrman5: [to pharmacist getting my pills that make me stop talking about ET] long day? "ugh I can't wait to go home" know who else wanted to go home

6

@themeredith: I love when guys ask how big my tits are like as if men have any idea what bra sizes mean. I could tell a guy I’m a WD-40 and he would be like “omg so hot”

1

@Brianhopecomedy: My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

1

@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.

111

@stephenjmolloy: Friend: Don't come on too strong is my dating tip. [At the restaurant] Her: Can you pass the salt, please? Me: Sorry, it's too heavy.

1
↑