How do u make a Pirate angry?
Take the P out of him.
“At least Donald Trump says what he thinks.”
Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place.
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Every time my husband wakes me up to tell me I’m snoring we end up having sex. I’m beginning to question whether or not I snore.
Hi, I’m Megan. You may know me from such public encounters with kids as “No, YOUR face is stupid” and “I didn’t trip you, you fell”.
“Get your poop in a group” is a childish way of saying “get your shit together” but I prefer my take of “gather the pieces of your feces”
The greatest trick the devil ever played
was offering a buy one get one free sale one day after you already purchased two at regular price.
People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number.
When your internet goes out and you are forced to get to know your surroundings
Our daughter ran away from home
once when she was a teenager.
We were frantic.
Within months, we called the police
to report her missing.
The one closest to the sky is most likely to get eaten by the pterodactyl.
You may have the last laugh now, but we’ll continue this discussion later when Im alone in my car pretending to be a stupider version of you