I can never remember if it’s “laying” or “lying.”
Anyway, I hit a dude with my car and he’s doing one of them in the middle of the road. 🙁
At some point the blessing in disguise is going to take off the disguise, right?
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It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that’s when the sporks flew.
Finding Nemo 3:
Nemo’s mom isn’t dead.
Nemo’s dad kidnapped Nemo to avoid a custody dispute.
Nemo’s mom finds them.
It’s a revenge tale.
Anyone who shows up late to work, wearing shades and clutching a Gatorade is about to tell a lie.
“Kill Bill” but me seeking revenge on the person who stole my sandwich.
Wipes away your tears using three precise karate chops.
[while titanic is sinking]
me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can’t believe no one is eating these lol
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said “Good afternoon folks” they will let you take their order.
I bet you’ll watch the cell phone camera footage of this concert for years & remember the fun you had holding up a cell phone at a concert.
Son, I’m not a mad scientist, just a disappointed scientist.