Apparently Bird Box is not a KFC $5 fill up. I know this now…
At this point my only chance at getting thinner is going to a paint store.
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Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.
[Inventor of the plow]
I’m gonna stab that field
You never see baby pigeons because pigeons are cloned by the government. Next question.
I really hope we can call ninjas with red hair “ginjas”.
I’m sorry but I strongly disagree
Maybe the Earth really is flat and we’re just on one of God’s refrigerator magnets.
It has been literally hours and I’m still laughing out loud every time I think about this
Studies show that you were, like, way too good for him.
‘Totally too good for him’ says one super supportive scientist.
[high school reunion]
“Hey aren’t u the kid who used to lie and throw people under the bus all the time?”
No that was Tyler.