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@psybermonkey: *attaches note to pigeon
*stuffs pigeon into envelope
@hippieswordfish: ME: so basically it's like the batsignal except it's the golden arches so you know when the mcrib is back
SANTA: please get off my lap
@buhsbaby_baby: Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
@TheCiscoKidder: I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel.
@jasonlight73: After my date orders, I always tell the waiter "Nothing for me..I'll be eating later" Then wink at my date & raise my eyebrows suggestively!
@GrantTanaka: listed a taco bell employee as my emergency contact cause by god, before I leave this shit planet I am having one last chalupa