@TheTweetOfGod: Attention crazy man on the subway: this is God. Please start telling everyone else in the car what I'm saying to you.
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@junejuly12: Still waiting for a sexy butler who can make me a grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch, and text with my mother.
@darinlovesbacon: I once stayed in a motel that was so seedy, the Bible in the drawer only had 7 commandments