@lovemydogduck: Attention!! To Whomever has my voodoo doll... I could really use a back rub.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
@Rollinintheseat: I use a wheelchair. Whenever I'm at a job interview and they ask me if I can sit for long periods of time, I want to say "Like a champion."
@DirtMcTurd: Any shampoo can be volume control shampoo if you cram the bottle directly into your kids mouth