Hey Fun Fact:
Remember that “You Wouldn’t Steal A Car” anti-piracy ad? The guy who wrote the music for that ad was never paid for their work
This Fun Fact™ brought to you by:
Stealing — It’s Okay If You’re A Corporation!
Baby is born.
Me: Wow. Everyone thinks he looks exactly like my husband. I don’t think he got anything from me.
3 years later: child sighs heavily, slams doors, and rolls eyes so far back he can see his spine.
Me: Theeeere it is.
You Might Also Like
Reporter: *ports again*
[cool youth pastor voice] let me tell you the story of another special boy who miraculously left a cave
To take full advantage of the never answer calls from an unknown number rule, you should also never assign names to numbers in your phone.
You gotta love the Internet, sometimes.
Instead of “Who’s your daddy?” I accidentally said “How’s your daddy?” and we put our clothes back on and discussed her father’s cholesterol
BREAKING NEWS ON FACEBOOK!
Pam wants everyone to know what a great husband Don has been these last 8 years & for making her so very happy!
SON: I need you to check under the bed for monsters.
ME: Listen, I appreciate your confidence in me, but if there’s a monster under there it’s going to kill us both.
I wish Fox News was just news about foxes.
The one thing we’ve learned from this crisis is that if the Martians invaded earth, our first response would be to lower interest rates.