At some point the blessing in disguise is going to take off the disguise, right?
baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There’s no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing
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Attachment isn’t when 2 ppl chat night and day. When someone emails u and adds an image or data file with it,
THAT FILE IS CALLED ATTACHMENT
Banker: So, you’d like a loan, to start an all marsupial fighting championship?
Me: Yes. I call it Mortal Wombat.
Banker: I’m in.
Date: so what do you do
Me: i build dog houses
Date: oh you’re an “arf”itect lol
Me: haha good one
Me: (under breath) it’s “bark”itect
*crawls seductively across bed*
*elbow gives out*
date: and then after traveling to Iceland I decided to get my MBA
me: I went to Arby’s 7 times yesterday
If I had gone to Rydell High, I would have walked right up to Rizzo and asked, “Rizzo? Is that short for Chorizzo?”
Ground control: he says he loves you very much
Mrs Major Tom: what’s he done this time?
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Me: (after eating 12 fudgesicles)
Ok. Time to get to work.
You: You can actually buy popsicle sticks at any craft store.
Me: Don’t question my art.