@Parentpains: I wanna be the reason you get out of bed in the morning, even if it is to make sure the door is locked.

@MableGertrude: Oh, so you make the bed everyday...I suppose you're also the type of snob that folds your clothes and puts them in "drawers."

@GrantTanaka: wife: I don't think our marriage can survive the distance issue me: what distance issue, I'm always here or nearby wife: me: oh

@StaunchA: Taliband

@Ideal_Victoria: I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos.