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@dumbbeezie: Back to the Future but it’s just me trying to break my parents up at the school dance
@Gre_Gone: Pancakes are just crepes who let themselves go after college.
@ewfeez: I wanna work at a bank so I can get that employee discount on money
@Cali_Kid_Mike: "You clean up nicely", is just a polite way of saying, "You usually look like shit."
@iwearaonesie: mom: Do you need us to bring anything tomorrow?
me: Pumpkin pie
mom: Anything else?
@AnitaHelmet: There's a skinny girl inside me who is just DYING to get out.
She stole the last cupcake & then bragged about her metabolism, so I ate her.