@stevevsninjas

-Balderdash!
-Codswallop!
-Tommyrot!
-Poppycock!

Victorian Era YouTube comments

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@Josievorenkamp

Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.

@BlackJerms

Me: So tired

Brain: IKR!! But wait, who organised the alphabet…

M: Please don’t

B: N how do we know it’s not actually disorganized?

@Just_Lee_

The world is full of terrible people, but there’s none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.

@SmithWit

Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we’re never going to meet real people ever again.

@TheBoydP

All I’m saying is no one ever country westerns you like a hurricane.

@fookmusic

Gas is like $40/full tank

Carrots are like $1/pound

Ya boi is getting a horse.

@rebrafsim

[pet store]
Me: do you have any marmosets?
Clerk: no we don’t sell—
Me: okay, just one marmo then

@KoJo_Sunshine

I have 6 locks on my door. When I leave, I lock 3. So no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always locking 3. Suckas