@SamGrittner

Baller is short for ballerina

You Might Also Like

@Jordan_Morris

I’m sick of these libs telling me I can’t say “Happy Honda Days” because I might offend someone who celebrates Toyotathon. So, I guess I’m supposed to wish everyone a “Happy Winter Car Sale”?

@SprtsHumor

Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.

@3sunzzz

[phone]

H: What’s for dinner?

M: I’m having vodka. As for you, I have no idea.

H: Should I stop and get something?

M: Yes, more vodka.

@ohpeetie

Boyfriend planted watermelon seedlings in our garden. I just bought a watermelon to put beside his plant before he wakes up tomorrow.

@BigFatNothing

A local business in my town has an open carry discount. As in, you show them a gun to save money. Doesn’t that discount apply everywhere?

@GirlRestrained

Oh look a Spider…… Oh look Listerine…. Oh look spider wiggling for life…. Minty fresh dead spider

@NATxHAN

Me: Santa, why are women so scary?

Santa: dude come on, I make $8.50 an hour, get off me.

@BuckyIsotope

Cookie Monster delivering the eulogy at Bert’s funeral. Head bowed low. Stillness. “Me want cookies,” he sadly intones. “Me want cookies.”