Pooh: There’s a rumbly in my tumbly
Pooh: There’s. A. Rumbly. In. My. Tumbly
Pooh: I’m hungry
Piglet: Say that then
JUDGE: *rubbing bridge of nose* Says here you bought 1000 bouncy castles?
ME: *lips on mic* For my kingdom, Your Honor
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Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons.
Moving is a lot more fun when you make the Movers carry you on top of the mattress like an Egyptian pharaoh
They refused to take my order just because I was wearing a dastardly Dracula cape. The people at the blood bank have no sense of humour.
Me: I’m going to bed after this episode.
Netflix: Hahahahahaha! Sure. Ok.
Alanis: I’m ready for this knife fight!
*Pulls out 10000 spoons*
If you feel the need to throw American cheese at something, aim for the trash.
At my parent’s house, or as I like to call it, the world’s most judgmental self-service laundromat.
I just Googled “cool new rare diseases.”