@RodLacroix

[Bath & Body Works]

Me: I need a bottle of body lotion for my wife.
S: These are Buy 3 Get 1 Free.
Me: I just need this one here
S: That’s not Buy 3 Get 1 but it IS Buy 1 Get 2 and if you buy this one here it’s Buy 2 Get 3 Free.
Me [leaving with 300 bottles]: how did this happen

You Might Also Like

@Mechaniz10

When explaining to your mother how to work the volume on her phone, “there’s only 3 buttons” is apparently the wrong answer.

Expect a 20 minute rant.

@SpenceDen

It’s bullshit that you can accidentally make a baby, but not something awesome like a soufflé.

@sarahclazarus

the cat won’t stop drinking out of my water glass I have tried everything I have tried “hey” and even “Hey”

@wickedsuga

Him: I just want a stable relationship.
Me: Yeah, horses are cool.
Him: ……..

Flirting is hard, you guys.

@Parentpains

Apparently watching your lover sleep is only romantic when they know who you are.

@Dawn_M_

Searching for your soulmate could take years. Making a slice of toast takes minutes.

@JoParkerBear

M: Twitter has helped me tremendously as a writer, as it demands tightness and brevity.
Friend: What do you write?
M: Oh, only tweets now.

@truegritrumble

“How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?”

-Cats

@SprtsHumor

Experts determine Super Bowl blackout was an electrical issue, also determine grass has a green issue.

@fro_vo

Wife: he has no sense of adventure. he even refuses to ride a roller coaster

Therapist: go on

Me: oh so you’re taking her side now