Be the change you’re looking for
between the couch cushions.

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The International Space Station was assembled IN SPACE.
I can’t follow one page of illustrated instructions to assemble an IKEA dresser.


One day I’m gonna go to work without my glasses and they’re gonna be like, “Who’s that hottie?” and I’m gonna be like, “WHO IS SAYING THAT?”


Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own problems that I forget there are people having real fights on the internet.


I would compare twitter to high school but I don’t remember high school being this stupid


Should I ever become president everyone who uses the word “bae” will be sterilized.


My dad always used to say ‘if you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves’. This cost him his job at the zoo.


Why is it so hard to find a woman who loves me for me and not the person I lied and manipulated her into thinking I am?


[any medication commercial]
good news, we have something that will likely make things worse for you