@iGreenMonk: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Unless that beholder is your mom cause we all know that doesn't count.
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@3sunzzz: My 18yo just gave me access to his private Twitter account. I'm not sure if I'm mortified or proud. I need 15 minutes and the Urban Dictionary.
@DanMentos: Today I learned two things: 1. Build-A-Bear Workshop only lets you stuff fake animals 2. Mall security guards get to use real handcuffs
@knew_nic: A friend’s 90 yo grandma just won an award for doing the most Jell-O shots in her retirement community. As if I needed more evidence that I’m not living my best life.