@slaughthie: Been getting better gas mileage since I decided to turn off my car when I'm crying alone in parking lots.
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@CelebrityChez: There's no law that says you can't make a tiny swimming pool in your belly button for a gummy bear pool party.
@CaptPinkbeard: Professor X: what's your superpower? Me: I'm half horse, half Isaac Newton Professor X: oh... ok. listen, we don't have any openings right now bu- Me: they call me The Centaur of Gravity Professor X: welcome aboard
@Home_Halfway: "How much for this melted ghost?" Sir that's a bed sheet "You have a lot of them! And they're packaged? IS THIS GHOST HELL" This is a Macys