@GrantTanaka: before 2018 ends, I'd like to apologize to the guy who parked too close to me at the Family Dollar. Sorry for leaving that note on your car, I did not mean those things I wrote about your mother
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@zachv86: I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will enjoy my scrambled eggs.
@ShutUpThatsWho: [first date] HER: What are you doing with the Tupperware? ME: [filling container] The sign says 'All You Can Eat', it doesn't specify when