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@LittleSquid12: [before eggnog was invented]
wish i could gag but festively
@briangaar: *interrupts parent & child on bus* Actually thats not true, Wolverine has died many times *they get up* Your mother cant shelter you forever
@Carbosly: So I asked my husband to buy 6 potatoes.
@Izianikapani: Obstetrician who has taken up magic as a hobby: and what have we here? *pulls out baby after baby after baby after baby after baby...
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What are you doing?!
5-year-old: Hugging my sister.
Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle.
5: The good ones do.
@hadafewbeers: Love it when moms refer to kids by age in tweets. "6 fell down today". Wonder if the kids do the opposite at school: "33 is drunk again".