If dinosaurs were still alive, people would do a lot more running.
Before you decide to have kids, ask yourself: is this apartment goat-friendly?
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Just read about something called “runner’s diarrhea” so no way am I ever running and taking that chance.
Keep yourself entertained during quarantine by taking daily mail comments and putting them on New Yorker cartoons to create your own satirical comics.
[man walks into a bar]
Horse bartender: Why the short face? SEE? SEE? IT’S NOT COOL!
*gets drunk outside*
*gets drunk inside*
I don’t even understand Fantasy Football.
There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks.
I call bullshit.
A woman at work told me I look younger with my glasses off. I told her she looked younger with my glasses off, too.
Neighbor may have just called the cops after hearing me yell at the cat for stealing my cheese bread
Hey I worked for it too!
If your taco gets arrested what do you need to bring to the jail?