@sammyrhodes: Before you send that mass "Merry Christmas!" text don't.
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@IslandsJunk: Win a Canadian marathon by putting a door just before the finish line and having them all wait for you to go through first.
@QwertyJones3: I just battle rapped my 4 year-old and rhymed "take a nap" with "piece of crap" so don't tell me about your parenting skills.