@DudeMass
@savvystrider
The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute.
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@savvystrider
@poutinesmoothie
Blood is thicker than water but has nothing on Thousand Island dressing.
@WetMascara
Of course I stay hydrated, carbohydrated.
@rob5373
[Bags packed, leaving the ex]
Ex:”I hope you have a slow and painful death!”
Me:”So now you want me to stay?”
@nice_mustard
yes 911 i need to report a kidnapping. lol yeah there’s a baby goat asleep in my lap. no dont send cops you’ll wake him up
@UncleDuke1969
And The Bro saith unto them,
Follow me to the club,
and I will make you fishers of women.Bromans 4:19
@VerifiedJayy
How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
@gwatts77
If I donate blood and you’re in an unfortunate circumstance of needing it don’t blame me for never being able to pass a drug test again.
@desukidesu
prometheus: humans are great
antimetheus: no
@champ_of_yuth
accidentally emailed my crush a bunch of pics of me in my karate uniform again