Being a dad is great. On Christmas morning I’m just as surprised as the kids when they open the presents we bought them.

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I think the short sellers had it right with Game Stop. It’s a failing business. If you look closely at their actual business model it does not seem at all effective at stopping games.


I’m no longer interested in self-discovery; I’m more interested in self-medication.


This day in history. 1998. Sonny Bono was killed while skiing at Lake Tahoe nothing to do with him trying to leave Scientology nope nothing.


My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her “golden shower” so goodnight.


Sorry I said “nice phone” when you showed me a photo of your baby.


Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with “I love you?” Oh yeah me neither.


It’s just really offensive because you know my name isn’t THAT difficult to pronounce and its SO DISRESPECTFUL and I am OUTRA…

friend: your name badge is on upside down