@baronvonbike
Being a dad is great. On Christmas morning I’m just as surprised as the kids when they open the presents we bought them.
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@BeTheCookie
I think the short sellers had it right with Game Stop. It’s a failing business. If you look closely at their actual business model it does not seem at all effective at stopping games.
@CandyEmpires
I’m no longer interested in self-discovery; I’m more interested in self-medication.
@JimmerThatisAll
This day in history. 1998. Sonny Bono was killed while skiing at Lake Tahoe nothing to do with him trying to leave Scientology nope nothing.
@lisaxy424
My grandma got her bathroom redone with this sparkly gold-specked tile and she just called it her “golden shower” so goodnight.
@Tappy_95
@engineportal
May your coffee kick in before reality does.
@Book_Krazy
Sorry I said “nice phone” when you showed me a photo of your baby.
@JustinGuarini
Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with “I love you?” Oh yeah me neither.
@ACartoonCat
It’s just really offensive because you know my name isn’t THAT difficult to pronounce and its SO DISRESPECTFUL and I am OUTRA…
friend: your name badge is on upside down