@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
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@WetzelGeek: I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.
@bfrosty04: I dont 'scrub up' like a surgeon after using the urinal because growing up, they taught us not to piss all over our hands n arms, you baboon
@UncleDuke1969: "How much for this toaster?" "An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers?" "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars