Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Slap a man with the same fish and the video will go viral in under 48 hours. #Truth
Being attacked by a shark is frightening enough…
But it’s even more terrifying when you notice he also has a big cold sore on his lip.
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Obama turns 52 today. Republicans vote to repeal it.
I just couldn’t get into “The walking dead”. It was far too unrealistic and fake for me. I mean, come on, an Asian guy named Glenn???
[God creating penguins]
I want a bird that doesn’t fly but loves to swim, and make sure you dress it classy AF.
My adult coloring book is filled with pictures of people paying bills, washing dishes, & tugging at their belly fat in front of the mirror.
Today, I threw away all the random chargers and cables that have been collecting; I’m sure that every electronic ever associated with one of them will now show up instantly, after not having been seen in years.
My friend is addicted to interventions and I don’t know how to help him.
I don’t really have a “blood type.” I think all bloods can surprise you if you just give them a chance.
MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone*
JUDGE: he’s got a point
[commercial for string cheese] do you like cheese?
“do you like string?”