@scot7a

BELLE: Some of the servants aren’t handling the transition from furniture back to human very well.

BEAST: What do you mean?

LUMIÈRE, both hands on fire: Yeah, what do you mean?

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@Jimpetuous

*holds seashell to ear*
[ocean sounds]
[ocean sounds]
[“Remember to click ‘subscribe’ & to rate & leave a com-]
*throws shell into the sea*

@BuckyIsotope

Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that’s either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this.

@Henry_3k

Meanwhile at the drugstore…
What do you mean I can’t drink alcohol with this medication?
You’re not a bartender!
You’re just a pharmacist.

@rachelle_mandik

do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they’re viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?

@thearibradford

I know there’s this whole “Gen-Z vs Millennials” thing going on but I’m excited to see what my kids roll their eyes at when I get old.

Like I’m just imagining my daughter like “God, Mom, you still use menstrual cups? Just think your period into the cloud like everyone else.”

@meganamram

Kids movies really made me believe that the greatest threats on earth were dogcatchers and quicksand

@NicolaJSwinney

Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81.

@anerdonfire2

The date abruptly ended when an argument over who’s the hottest Disney princess spiralled out of control.

@vmochama

i speak three languages: english, bad french and the body language of an emotionally compromised and haunted male detective

@Doughbvy

SCIENTIST: Let’s name this spider Long Legs, for its long legs

SCIENTIST 2: Hmm not kinky enough