BELLE: Some of the servants aren’t handling the transition from furniture back to human very well.

BEAST: What do you mean?

LUMIÈRE, both hands on fire: Yeah, what do you mean?

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*holds seashell to ear*
[ocean sounds]
[ocean sounds]
[“Remember to click ‘subscribe’ & to rate & leave a com-]
*throws shell into the sea*


Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that’s either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this.


Meanwhile at the drugstore…
What do you mean I can’t drink alcohol with this medication?
You’re not a bartender!
You’re just a pharmacist.


do you ever get a series of sharp pains like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they’re viciously stabbing it? no? how about now?


I know there’s this whole “Gen-Z vs Millennials” thing going on but I’m excited to see what my kids roll their eyes at when I get old.

Like I’m just imagining my daughter like “God, Mom, you still use menstrual cups? Just think your period into the cloud like everyone else.”


Kids movies really made me believe that the greatest threats on earth were dogcatchers and quicksand


Leaflet through the door telling me I can enjoy sex at 75. Which is handy, because I live at number 81.


The date abruptly ended when an argument over who’s the hottest Disney princess spiralled out of control.


i speak three languages: english, bad french and the body language of an emotionally compromised and haunted male detective


SCIENTIST: Let’s name this spider Long Legs, for its long legs

SCIENTIST 2: Hmm not kinky enough