@DannyDutch: Best headline I’ve seen in so very long…
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@sarcasticmommy4: My teens cleaned their rooms & according to my sink & countertops, they've been hoarding my whole kitchen.
@goodhairperson: I've decided I want a sad funeral. None of this upbeat "celebration of life" shit. I want sobbing, ppl vomiting w grief, at least 2 suicides
@DrDogMD: NURSE: ur concerned about ur patient huh? Youve been pacing in circles for 10 mins DR DOG: haha no im just trying to find a spot to lie down