best thing i have overheard in a long time just happened.
dude 1: “man, if you haven’tve texted me, i was gonna to bed at like 9.”
dude 2: “yea, i was actually hoping you wouldn’t respond so that i could go to bed.”
both: “well…. shit.”
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Why are ghosts and angels depicted as semi transparent is that what happens when you die they just turn your opacity down
I thought this house was haunted by a ghost but it turned out it was Bruce Willis the whole time. Also, I broke into Bruce Willis’ house.
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Who decided to call them “children”, and not ‘snot machines’.
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Don’t ask how I know this.
White friend: OMG that’s so spicy!
Me: First of all, it’s a glass of water.
*walks into IT department attempting to look cool*
You guys torrent any emails lately?