Bigfoot is real… or rather he was real and quite delicious.

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If you’re a pilot with a man bun, I’m calling you Top Bun, and you can’t stop me.


What do you get when you stick three kids and two adults with full time jobs in a house 24 hours a day for 6 months and then add in zoom school? A toddler who walks around all day shouting “Oh Dear God!”, apparently.


me: *googling* am I dying

web md: nope just sad

me: oh good

web md: and extremely melodramatic tbh

me: that’s fair

web md: and I think your anxiety would be more manageable if you got a job and paid rent

me: *shouting from the basement* mom did you hack my computer again


Caesar: You will be forced to fight to the death

Gladiator: Hell yeah

Madiator: well this is bullshit


Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

Fool me 53 times a day, you’re an Instagram filter.


My Internet was out for a while so I went downstairs to talk to my mom. She seems nice.