@food_shoes_life

Bikini season is just around the corner.

Unfortunately, so is the Mexican restaurant.

You Might Also Like

@lukekarmali

This is literally the best thing I’ve ever seen happen on Twitter

@JustDontBugMe

Pizza: *screaming* BUT DOES ANYONE CARE WHAT I’D LIKE TO HAVE ON TOP OF ME!?

@prufrockluvsong

New year new me, I say as I get a new me out of deep freeze and bury the old me in the woods

@TheHatStore

me: head, shoulders, knees and toes, eyes and ears and mouth and nose

CDC: no

@noog

World: Hey check out this sport we made called football.
America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.

@AmishPornStar1

“Sorbet” is a French word that means, “I wish it was ice cream.”

@RealSamHarwood

A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, “no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis”

@SamanthaaaReece

I’m at Sephora and the makeup artist asked this woman if she was allergic to anything and she said “shrimp”

@iLikeCatShirts

Dads out on the dance floor just respecting the heck out of the fine craftsmanship of the wood and stain.