The age-old question ….
Are we alone ?
Of course we’re not.
There are 320 million other
idiots on Twitter besides us.
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I am not “aware” of any “laws” that “forbid” the use of excessive “air quotes” officer “Barnes.”
I like my food how I like my erotic asphyxiation: almost enough to kill me but not quite
when you try to think up jokes about boxing, the punchlines write themselves
*romantically grabs husband’s face*
I will NEVER stop eating your fries.
What are people in motels doing that they need such a steady and reliable source of ice?
The Wizard of Oz (1939): A Kansas runaway discovers the psychedelic powers of blunt-force head trauma.
Writing about 2 dinosaurs who hate crime. They make motorcycles & badges from the meteorite that killed their dino buds. Called TriceraCOPS!
What if the washer has been stealing the socks and we have just been blaming the dryer?
I love playing catch with my dogs when I’m drunk, because I don’t have dogs when I’m sober.