A cropped version of my wind turbines cartoon seems to be doing the rounds. It’s by me, if you see it.
HER: I’d really like to have sextuplets
ME: Oh wow, me too!
ME: Yeah, but why did you call me “tuplets”?
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Yoou can lead a horse to water but you need a seahorse to continue your journey
Let me get this straight Hulu Plus. I pay you $ to watch shows & then you fill those shows with commercials. This sounds familiar.
Every time I get out of a small car it looks like a giraffe being born.
What is the worst kind of pasta and why do you think it’s penne?
I hate when I smile at a stranger and they don’t smile back… I’m using my face muscles for you, you little shit.
me: most dust is human skin flakes therefore roombas are carnivorous robots and one day the dust won’t satiate them anymore so they will rise up and devour us all
therapist: can we go back to discussing your childhood
me: one sec
“lassie i don’t see anyone at the bottom of this well. are you sure-” timmy felt the paws on his back. his eyes widened as he understood…
[into the abyss]
no you hang up first
Never seen a bar fight break out while people are drinking wine. Beer, yes. Hard liquor, yes. But not wine.