@MsMosman

Blocked a someone with “Social Media Specialist | Online Reputation Manager” in their bio just to mess with their head. And it’s douchy.

Blocked a someone with “Social Media Specialist | Online Reputation Manager” in their bio just to mess with their head. And it’s douchy.

- @MsMosman

You Might Also Like

@Kalarlis

When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write “HELP ME” while maintaining eye contact

@WilliamAder

By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I’ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

@stephenjmolloy

Genie: You have 3 wishes.

Me: I’ve seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won’t happen. I’m so sure it won’t I’ll give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You sonofa-

@xysist

If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.

@WheelTod

I hate it when you’re about to sacrifice a baby, and you notice one of the other satanists is wearing the same robes.

@jonnysun

*sees sister’s facebook post that her dog died*
how do i tell her i love her & i’ll always be there for her
*clicks sad face button*
perfect

@Reverend_Scott

Mistakes married men make:

1. Doing things.

2. Not doing things.

3. Thinking about doing things.

4. Not thinking about doing things.

@818Newbie

I’m as nervous as a United Airlines standby passenger.