@debon7
@StarWarsProblms
Kylo Ren: What was Vader like?
Leia: He blew up my planet & killed everyone I loved.
Kylo:
Leia:
Kylo: What was his stance on sideburns?
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@StarWarsProblms
@BiIIMurray
I read that burglars use Twitter & Facebook to see when people arent home. So from now on, Im at home. With a rifle. And a hungry crocodile.
@ozzyunc
A dog once travelled 150 miles to attack the man who abandoned him at a gas station. I think I found my spirit animal.
@jctwritesstuff
[Command Center]
*opens map*
*traces route*
*marks intercept point*
*drives*
*waits*
*target arrives
*tackles*Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
@doccy_style
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they’re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
@thatcarlygirl
“A car I’ve never seen before just parked outside. We’re gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you’re not listening to me I said…”
– Dogs
@Bandersnaaatch
Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them.
@browneyegirl9
If you don’t like the idea of wiping someone’s ass in the middle of eating a delicious meal, you probably shouldn’t become a parent.
@aveuaskew
If I had to choose one word that encapsulates me, I’d say skin.
@XplodingUnicorn
3-year-old: *sits at the table forever without touching anything*
Me: *eats one cold chicken nugget*
3: THAT WAS MINE!