@ItsAndyRyan

Boss: Can I have a word?
Me: Color
Boss: No, I want a word with YOU
Me: Colour

You Might Also Like

@Shade510

Hurt my back in a pretty bad helicopter accident.

At my age, I really need to stretch before trying to move my hips like that.

@TomTheWicked

Daughter: why does that guy with the whistle keep interrupting the football game?

Me: because mommy isn’t there to do it.

@TheGladStork

Work tip: if you’re going to ask your boss if you can “work from home”, don’t use air quotes.

@tylerschmall

England’s gonna have a rude awakening when they go to war and all their knights are actors and musicians.

@Dutch_50

I’ll bet the first ever drive thru window resulted in an incredible amount of broken glass.

@Knob_ish

Take your girl camping and your relationship will become more in tents.

Not Sorry.

@Izianikapani

Wearing pigtails to relive my youth and scare men when I turn around.

@Browtweaten

Judge: I find you guilty of all charges

Neutron: This is some bullshit

@dog_feelings

sometimes. i will yawn really big. and soon after. the human will also yawn. i have yet to decide. what to do with my powers

@SteveKoehler22

When your wife asks you to dig
a hole for her shrub-

She’ll feel threatened if you make
it large enough to hold a body.

I know this now.