Hubby took the kids downstairs and is letting me sleep in! I’m so excit..never mind, I hear crying already. I think it’s my husband.
Boss: Let’s be frank.
Me: Dibs on “Sinatra.”
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GUYS THE TEQUILA KARAOKE GUY MADE IT TO AMERICA’S GOT TALENT AND ACTUALLY GOT FOUR YESES IM CRYING
If I wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol with NyQuil, then why did it come with a shot glass?
I wonder if the person who came up with the phrase ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ got really annoyed when everyone else started using it.
I’m easily the third toughest guy at this casino breakfast buffet.
O spirits, let me talk to m-
C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I
What the heck?
A 3G board?
BANK ROBBER: everyone on the ground and drop whatever is in your hands!!
ME: [holding a $9 Starbucks coffee, a tear rolls down my cheek] no
The word “karaoke” comes from an old Chinese proverb meaning: “go home, you’re drunk.”
Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.