if you wear a bikini top instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will think you just went swimming which is athletic not lazy
Bought a bag of Sweetheart candies & cracked my tooth on one.When I spit it out & looked at it,itsaid “Next time call when you say you will”
You Might Also Like
It wasn’t no corona till y’all started balancing brooms in the house, y’all let the devil in
Remove all the poles if you don’t want me stripping, Mr. Bus Driver.
I’m not worried about toilet paper, but if I go to the store and my coffee creamer is gone, we are going to have issues.
[first day at pet store]
me: you want this boxed?
her: you can’t box a goldfish
me: [lacing up gloves] watch me
spell your crushes name backwards mine’s ninotores
If you’re using YOLO to justify doing something stupid, remember you only DIE once too.
i know a guy who loves saying “best thing since sliced bread” and i imagine hes always at a grocery store lookin at bread and just losing it
For people who say “nothing is impossible”, that’s crazy. I’ve been successfully doing nothing for several years now.
I hear you knocking at my door. You thinking I’m going to answer it is your second mistake.