@CrapLocalNews: Breaking news:
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@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I took two naps today and was just falling asleep again. Him: I can think of something to wake you up. *wraggles eyebrows* Me: Is it food?
@UnFitz: [a duel] Him: Choose your weapons. Me: Um...banjos. Him: See? This is why everyone wants you dead.
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume.