[school teacher job interview]
Can I ask you some questions?
I don’t know CAN you?
haha impressive [stands] welcome aboard!
BUNGEE INSTRUCTOR: forgetting something?
BUNGEE INSTRUCTOR: your harness.
JUMPER: oh wait lol i’m not with the group.
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CW: I meant outside.
Me: I don’t live outside.
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“bob from work or bob who likes having sex with doors?”
(loud banging on the front door)
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[hosting a kids show]
ME: ok everybody, what time is it?? say it loud!!
KIDS: OWL! TOUCHING! TIME!
[camera zooms in on a startled barn owl]
I was wearing a jean jacket yesterday and a little kid asked me why I made a jacket out of pants and I had no good answer for him