Bro,I seriously locked myself outta my jeep.

He was driving a top-less jeep with the windows down.

You Might Also Like


We leave the TV on for our dog when we go out. Yesterday my wife left on the Bravo channel and they were showing a marathon of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. He now starts meaningless fights with other dogs in public and has a drinking problem.


If the government keeps doing nothing for much longer, it will get its own reality show on E!


My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She’s been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease.


cat: so how u been
me: well, kinda been depressed about work and traffic was-
cat: [presses paw to my lips] lol shut up I don’t care feed me


[England 1320]
“Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows.”

*waits 6 months*



FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food.


[1st date]
“I’m really into roll playing,” I tell her with a wink, and make two pieces of complimentary bread pretend to kiss.


Saw Helena Bonham Carter walking down Wardour Street earlier looking every inch the mystical vagabond. Was tempted to rub her head for luck.