BRUCE WAYNE: How can I rid this city of crime

ALFRED: Mental health care access, economic development, gun reg—

BRUCE: Bring me a cape

You Might Also Like


“You will not marry him! He is not of our kind!”

But we’re in love!

“It is forbidden!”

*whale elopes with submarine*


Someday, when I’m really old, I hope I can sit my grandchildren around my rocking chair and text them pearls of wisdom.


i hate small talk. i wanna talk about aliens, the 16 digits on your credit card, the 3 numbers on the back, and the expiration date


HEATH: I’m more “Heath” than you’ll ever be!

HEATHER: You wanna bet?


When a kid says ” Daddy, I want mommy”, that’s the kid version of “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.


Don’t forget to get offended today by some retarded shit that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.


Lisa on FB has cramps but is still going to yoga.

I’ll keep you all posted.