Her: Even if I was trapped on a desert island with you, I still wouldn’t have sex with you.
Me: You’re thinking about sex in that situation? What is wrong with you? WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO FOR FOOD, BRENDA?
“building-building building building building-building building”
(translatiom: structur-making tower makimg another structure-making tower)
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– Reviews for “TicTacToe, The Movie”
Me: “Your mum sucks.”
GF: “That’s not very nice.”
Me: “No, it’s wonderful.”
Would it be odd if someone brought their cat on a date?
Her: Very, what’s in the box?
Nothing, waiter cancel that can of tuna
why was 6 mad when 7 won her a stuffed elephant? because 7 1 1 4 9 2
pillsbury doughdad: [turning oven down] put a dang sweater on if you’re so cold, you naked moron
SORRY I REPLACED EVERYTHING IN YOUR FIRST AID KIT WITH BAGS OF BEEF JERKY YOU MIGHT BE MAD NOW BUT YOU’LL THANK ME LATER
Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain
Wife was feeling kinky last night so she got naked and I tied her to the headboard, then me and my buddy ordered pizza and played X-Box.
Mathematics is the only place you can buy 60 watermelons and no one questions you