I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English
Burning bridges was a lot easier when 7 out of 10 people had lighters in their pockets.
You Might Also Like
If you can’t handle me at my worst, you and I have a lot in common.
i love the term “partners”
are we dating?
are we robbing a bank?
do we run a legal firm?
Who knows man
Kanye on the beach, by the water, holding two large conch shells up to either ear.
“That’s incredible”, he says
“When did I record this?”
If Elsa could bring snow to life why didn’t she make herself some pets? I’d have like 50 snowcats by now.
Van Gogh: take my ear as a symbol of love
Girl: ew I don’t want this
Van Gogh: I’m glad you like it
Girl: can you even hear me? This is gross
Van Gogh: I love you too
I tossed and turned so much last night that I woke up with an ab.
My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that’s the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace.
The word October loosely translates to ’eight bers’
“Omg, I literally just died”
-people who literally don’t know what literally means