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@hippieswordfish: [bus stop]
'help! is there a doctor around?'
im a dr
'this guy got shot'
how does that make you feel
'what are u doing?'
im a psychiatrist
@Angibangie: Me: Do you have assorted cheeses?
Mom [exactly right next to me]: A sword of jesus?
Me: Yes ma, did you have a sword of jesus?
Dad [from down the hall]: We have lots of cheese in the top drawer of the fridge!