[business meeting at restaurant]
“There’s more than one way to skin a cat”
[Family of cats at next table]
*mom cat puts paw on cat dad’s arm

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Wanted to respond with “Perfect!” but accidentally sent “Pervert!”

That’s my cue to leave. And sorry, Steve, you’re probably not a pervert.


SCIENCE FACT: if you took all of the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.


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Me at 36: If I wait until it goes on sale and use my coupon, I can buy scented trash bags.


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her: omg omg omg it’s finally happening

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Most unrealistic scene in Pacific Rim? Hundreds take shelter in a bunker during a monster attack. Not one person is tweeting.