@WhaJoTalkinBout: [buying house plants] hey wanna come back to my place and die
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@kelkulus: My office got a shredder, so now I have to buy a turtle costume to fight it on Monday. Work is hard.
@JustDontBugMe: Iron Man: *mouth full of shawarma* do you think Watson solved the case? Dr. Strange: probably. we trained him well. If not, we'll just reverse time and get it done.
@VodkaThursday: Once Prince dies there will be some freaky shit that comes out like he ate only butterflies or bathed in babies or something. Mark.My.Words.